2023 was 40 years of me

12 months ago, I was one week away from entering my 4th decade. If 2022 was the year of reflection, 2023 was going to be the year of execution. And while I continued trudging along the path of “living in the moment”, “appreciating the little things” and “bringing people together with positivity”, I faced the biggest challenge of my career so far. I was one of the 22,000 people impacted in the Meta layoffs. I had worked at Meta for 9 long and fruitful years and the layoffs left me confused. They led me to question my abilities and purpose, evoking a deep sense of introspection. But this period also presented a silver lining—a sabbatical, offering a chance to deeply reflect, learn, and rethink the next chapter of my life.

40! Me?

To be honest, 40 hasn’t been easy. I find myself with a lot more questions now than ever before. In my natural state, I am used to seeing the glass half full. I believe in the good intentions of others, and value openness and honesty. I believe that I am self-aware but there are moments when I feel lost.

What I could have, should have, would have done which could have, should have, would have led to a different today. Am I running on a track? And does this track lead me to my eventual destination? Is this the right track? What is my destination? Do I have the values and motivation to get there? Do I trust myself?

When I look into the future to my older self, I wonder if I’d be proud of the decisions I make today.

The immediate aftermath

But I have been raised to work hard and I know that to find the answers, I will have to tread new ways. With intention, I decided to take my time and come to terms with the layoffs. I found my allies in ex-colleagues who couldn’t believe that I was no longer working with them. My friends who are my biggest supporters, justified this moment as a speed bump in my long career. My parents who were shocked but quickly turned this shock into unconditional support and positive reinforcement. Their simple advice has been, “Believe in yourself. Everything will be alright.”

My wife, unsure of the future, still encouraged me to take my time, relax and enjoy life. “But you better find something by Q1” is what she would say almost every few weeks, reminding me to not get too comfortable in this sabbatical life.

So what did I do?

• Layoffs are more common than I ever thought and I wanted to learn from others’ experiences instead of starting from scratch. One book that really helped was Phyl Terry's Never Search Alone. It provided me with a framework to develop a clear narrative about my value in the current market, my expectations from the next role, all along giving me the clarity and confidence that I needed throughout this process.

• I have never been much of a reader. I prefer writing. I always have. I have never written for others though. It’s purely a self-development exercise that I do in the form of poems, prose and short essays. I dream of putting together a screenplay one day. And to start that act, I have decided to continue writing but be more intentional about sharing it with others. My attempt is this blog.

• But I am envious of those who read. Besides making one smarter, reading offers ideas, perspectives and thought provoking commentary and it frees ones mind from society-laden structures. With this intention,

  • I re-read some of my old favourites - my guides to life:

    • How to win friends and influence people by Dale Carnegie: It's not as manipulative a book as the name suggests. Instead, the author shares the principles of communication with a focus on positive intent. One piece of must-have advice is to develop "an increased tendency to think always in terms of the other person’s point of view, and see things from that person’s angle as well as your own." After a career turning point, I needed to reassess not only my personal and professional relationships but also my relationship with myself, with my inner voice.

    • Chop Wood, Carry Water by Joshua Medcalf: A story about a teacher and their student as they build expertise in the sport of archery. It's not about winning. It's about how you win. It's not about reaching the top but how you get to the top. The book has always left me with invaluable lessons on patience, the importance of routine and doing the simple things over a long period of time to eventually land on the island of success - advice that was key for me to continue down the path of self-reflection and growth.

  • Read some new ones - to start the process of building from 0:

    • Beyond Disruption by Renée Mauborgne and W. Chan Kim (which I wrote about here): My introduction to the idea of exploring creative non-disruption. Layoffs are disruptive. What is the opposite of that? Were they avoidable? What are some creative ways to think of the problem that led to layoffs? It was the need of the hour. I needed to think beyond Facebook and this book gave me agency to build my own structure and push forth in difficult times.

    • Start with Why by Simon Sinek: helped me find my why. It pushed me to question everything, to understand why something exists or why people do what they do. It's a great book for new product developers as well as a guide to understand and assess the real motivations of people and businesses around us.

• Going to school, even if just for a week, took my mind and soul back to 2007. The excitement of meeting new mates and professors, learning new ways of thinking and the fall leaves, Berkeley, California was the setting of a much needed respite from the year-long summer of Singapore. Learning the principles of Product Management with world renowned faculty and classmates from all over the world was one of my best experiences of the past year.

• Networking gets a bad rep - the word can be a buzzkill but the activity itself has so much meaning. There is so much to gain from meeting new people. Besides the obvious benefit of may be landing a cool new gig, the chemicals released in the brain when you truly connect with someone offers an incredible rush, when you instantly click and recognize the innate joy that that conversation is giving you. I have had plenty of opportunities in the past 7 months having conducted 170 meetings with people from 54 companies across Singapore, India and the US.

• Reconnecting with old colleagues and friends from all over the world with no other intention but to catch up and be a part of their life once again. To learn about their good and bad and offer my hand, shoulder, smile once again. To reminisce decades of association, to share a meal, a coffee or a drink, once again. I wrote about this last year and I think reconnecting with people is one of the pleasures that I want to take with me long into my life.

In conclusion

Time passes by so slowly when you are caught in that moment but so fast when you look back. Layoffs feel like a lifetime ago. So much has happened since then. That day will forever be the day I celebrate - a turning point in my life, giving me the opportunity to look inside of me, to learn more about myself. These moments have helped me validate my strengths, understand the significance of relationships, the value of staying in touch, the importance of positivity, the need to constantly learn and build that drive required to live a long and fulfilling life.

I am excited to share that I am going back to the "mothership", Meta, on a short-term assignment as the APAC PMM Lead for Reels and Creator Ads.

What's different this time?

Me.